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No greater human joy exists than waking up to a winter wonderland that magically cancels school. Unfortunately, some school systems have decided to cancel snow days, regardless of the weather. This is horrifying! Internet, where are you? Where’s the hashtag #SaveSnowDays to protect us?
No! We cannot take away the human experience of being on a dark winter’s night, hoping for a snow day, and then having the joy of that hope being realized. There are only so many days of such great glory in a person’s life. School boards, however, want their checkboxes checked, their percentages maxed, and their attendance punch cards punched, and snow days mess all of that up.
Look, we must all think of the children. Teenagers, I know you don’t like it, but it’s in your best interest to roll with it. Those who want to cancel snow days should be forced to look into the wide, excited eyes of a little girl, waking up to experience her very first snow day and tell her, “No, you can’t play outside.” Why? “Because it’s super important that today, right now, you learn about what a newspaper frontage, in England, three hundred years ago, thought was important and you also must know the French conjugation of the verb ’to have fun.'”
This is not what matters. If you can do that and think you are doing good, you are a heartless monster extinguishing the light of a child. Don’t cancel snow days. Cancel kill joy committees. Hashtag #SaveSnowDays.