According to Paula Abdul, her first kiss was not with who you think it is. She said it was with a boy named Michael who rarely spoke, but would sometimes give her one of the cookies from his lunch. She said it felt magical when their lips touched, but the whole story is actually a joke written by Joe Quozzala and published on Clickhole in 2015. The punchline was that it sounded like a story from her youth, but was actually adult Paula Abdul talking about her week.
However, the joke has become consensus history, and if you Google Paula Abdul’s first kiss, you will find that her first kiss actually came from a man named Craig Schiller. But it’s nice to think of quiet Michael, a man who was never born and has no lips, being part of Paula Abdul’s story.